Flirting With Death
by Able02
Summary: As Butters is heading home from school a certain someone appears before him. What Will happen? Disclaimer on profile.


"Hey there." Butters jumped back from the blonde who seemed to appear in front of him.

"K-Kenny!?" He whimpered. "I thought you were dead!?"

"Hmm… Maybe. I know I'm dead and I used to live here. Maybe I am Kenny. I have no memories of when I was alive." The boy shrugged and stretched leaning over backwards. "For now. I'm Death."

Butters fainted. "Butters! Butters! Butters wake up!"

The blonde opened his eyes. "Dad?" Butters rasped.

"Damn it Butters! What have your mom and I told you about sleeping outside!? You're grounded!" Mr. Stotch scolded his son before leaving the room

"H-hamburgers." Butters murmured. The small boy rubbed his forehead as he sat up.

"What kind of parent grounds their child for fainting? I have no memories and _I_ know that's not right!" Butters jumped again. "Don't faint again. I might feel guilty if you get like, double grounded or something."

Kenny, Death, was sitting on butters' dresser. "A-am I going to die?" butter asked gulping almost comically.

"Hmm… Maybe" Death said slipping soundlessly down. Hard to make much noise when you don't have an actual body. "I can't really say. I'm already in trouble for revealing myself to you but hey, where's the fun in dying when you don't know it?"

"You think dying is fun?" Butters asked incredulously.

Death looked sullen. "Not so far." He smiled then. "I believe that if people are gonna die anyway, I say they should be able to enjoy it! The fates don't think so though." He leaned against the dresser.

"W-wait you said maybe! D-does that mean I might not die?" Butters asked removing his coat. "Kenny? D-Death?"

Death was staring at the living occupant of the room. "That scarf…" he muttered. "There's something about it…"

"Y-you, uh Kenny gave it to me for my birthday last year."

"It's cheap" Death sounded disgusted. "You have a better one right here." Death gestured to a fluffy red scarf hanging out of a drawer next to him. "It would certainly keep you warmer than that."

"Yeah but…" Kenny played with the fringe of the powder blue scarf absently. "This one is special…"

There was a silence then. Death broke it pushing off the dresser making it shake a little. "Be right back!"

Death slipped through the floor. Butters almost fainted again. A minute later his dad came into his room. "Butters it's a beautiful day out, why don't you go outside and play." Death was smiling standing next to his father.

"I-I thought I was grounded?" Butters asked trying to look at his father and not at the dead boy next to him.

Death leaned up and whispered into his father's ear and after a second his dad said. "Don't worry about that. In fact here, take my credit card go nuts." His father held out his gold visa card and looked puzzled like he didn't quite know what he was doing.

"Hey dummy, don't stand there with your mouth hanging open take it." Death said looking a little strained.

Butters grabbed the clothes he'd only just taken off and took the card. He ran out the door tossing a 'thanks!' over his shoulder. He put the coat and scarf on as he walked aimlessly. Death fell into step a minute or two later. "What was that?" He asked.

"Mind control. I can suggest that humans do somethings. I can't make them kill themselves or anything self-destructive like that but it's good for a laugh between jobs." Death smiled at him. "Don't worry. I won't use it on you."

"Where should I go?" Butters asked.

"You're a teenager with your dad's credit card and permission to financially bankrupt him. Dude, you really need instructions?" Death asked with a look that was so Kenny it hurt.

"Yeah?" Butters said doubtfully.

"Seriously? Let's go to a titty bar and get drunk or something!" Death said.

"Well I'm not really into that kind of thing…" Butters said blushing a little.

Death almost looked hopeful. "Maybe a gay bar then?"

Butters blushed harder and sputtered. "I wouldn't know what to do in a place like that!"

"Why don't go to a bakery and get a bunch of pastries then?" Death sighed. Butters blushed impossibly deeper. "Wait what's wrong with that?"

Butters remembered being covered in frosting while Kenny slowly licked it off. He shivered as he came back to reality. "It's just something that happened before…" Butters shook his head. "Ice cream."

"Butters, it's like twenty below." Death said.

"But I want ice cream." Butters pouted.

"Fine catch your death. See if I care." Death rolled his eyes. "That was soo not on purpose."

Death ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Why do you do that?" Butters asked. Death looked at him. "You say and do things like Kenny. Are you him or do you act like him to mess with me?"

Death shook his head. "I recognized that scarf. I can't remember being alive but I knew that scarf so I must be your Kenny." Death kicked a can across the street. "Look since I've become Death I've reaped six hundred humans and I've only revealed myself to you. Because I just had to spend time with you. I got a friend of mine to handle me reapings today just so I could be with you. And I don't know why but I want soo badly to keep you safe to avert your death even if it means I'll go to hell."

Death looked like he might cry. "I'm sorry… It's just… when you do things like Kenny it kind of hurts because I know I'll never see him again… and… and."

Butters did start crying then. "Wait please don't cry." Death said grabbing his shoulders.

Death chewed his lip and just let go. He kissed butters lightly. Butters stopped crying shocked. He knew Death was kissing him but he couldn't really feel it. The kiss was there but there was no real flesh. Only a cool, ghostly, pleasant, pressure at his lips. Butters sniffed. "S-Sorry."

Death looked frustrated. "Damn it!" He tried to kick over a trashcan but his foot went through it.

"Why do you go through some stuff but not others?" Butters wondered aloud.

"Intent if I want to affect the human world I can but sometimes when I'm upset it doesn't work."

"Oh…" Butters looked at the ground. "Sorry for crying. I didn't mean to upset you."

Death looks surprised. "Look at me." Butters locked eyes with the boy who looked so much like his once lover. "Don't ever apologize. You're an amazing person don't ever let anyone make you feel like you have anything to be sorry for. I'm just pissed I can't really kiss you."

Butters smiled. "Thanks. But it's fine. I kind of liked it. Not a real kiss but still loving."

"If only I could get a body…" Death muttered.

A/N: I think you know where this is going… Leave a review for any character you want to see possessed for Butters' pleasure. I'll probably wait about a week before I just stick him with somebody.


End file.
